“E opu ali’i
Have the heart of a chief.
Have the kindness, generosity and even temper of a chief.”
It was a lovely late February day. I had just led a hula presentation at the Lake Villa District Library, which is new, quiet, and spacious. Large windows faced open fields, and a lake. In this beautiful setting there were 50-60, mostly elders, present to experience a taste of Hula. Four of them particularly enjoyed it because they had been long time residents of Kailua-Kona and Kohala on Hawaii Island.
Afterwards, we walked to the car to return to Oak Park on a sunny day which could have been miserably cold – and instead it was 73 degrees! I relished the warmth even though there were whispers of ‘global warming’ in my mind.
We were in a good mood having just danced hula for a warm audience and we were enjoying the incredible day. We had the windows rolled halfway down as we drove when we were stopped by a red light. We waited as the second car in the lane to go straight. Another car was to the right of us slightly ahead, in the lane from which you could either turn right or go straight. We were both waiting for the light to change.
Suddenly, we heard the man in the car next to us yell "F___ you!" and continued on with more cursing. It startled Gwen, who was driving, and me! We thought he must be on the phone, upset with someone. I tried to look and see if that was so and realized he wasn’t on the phone. He was swearing at the car in front of him who was not making a right turn so he could turn.
Given that the lane that car was in was not a right turn only lane, we were both startled to see such anger erupt so quickly. All kinds of thoughts filled our heads. “What’s wrong with him!?” “I hope he doesn’t have children he’s going home to!” “He must be so unhappy to have anger erupt so quickly!”
I realized that we were witnessing road rage, and our thoughts were a normal reaction to an unpleasant situation. It didn’t feel particularly helpful to keep thinking about him that way. I remembered the practice of Metta or Loving Kindness. I thought, what could be helpful in this situation would be to start sending metta to this man. It was like uttering a simple prayer.
May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe. May you live with ease.
I repeated these sentences a couple of times aloud thinking of this man and noticed that I immediately felt more relaxed. I was sending him loving kindness and, in the process, loving kindness immediately filled me up. I don’t know if it affected him. I knew it certainly couldn’t hurt. And those simple sentences had a profound effect on me.
Malama pono,
Aloha and Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart)
Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue