“He punawai kahe wale ke aloha.
Love is a spring that flows freely.
Love is without bounds and exists for all.”
In Hawaii we call love ‘the spirit of Aloha’.
I grew up in Hawaii, a place of great beauty, with a warm, loving family. As my life has unfolded, I've deepened my experience of this freely flowing spring, this love that exists for all, including me. It's a vast and boundless interconnection that infuses the entire Cosmos.
It’s the warm feeling that lives in our hearts. It moves and grows when we do something that we enjoy. It’s the energy that flows when we are with those we care deeply about. It’s the rising of compassion when we are with those who may be in need that compels us to action. It is boundless and central to the spiritual path. It is what gives us courage to persevere and be patient so we can work through our suffering, integrate it, and be skillful for the sake of others and the great earth.
Sometimes, we don’t feel aloha at all. We may be down in the dumps, angry about something or someone or anxious about something. Even in these times, when life seems dark and we’re not happy, love is still here for us.
I was scheduled to give a talk this past Sunday at our Zen Center. I felt anxious and I was caught in a swirl of thoughts of wanting to look good. I wasn’t sleeping well, I felt overwhelmed, and I procrastinated. "Can I really do this?... Am I smart enough?... I'm going to really suck!...” were on a loop in my mind. Is that a manifestation of aloha?
Then, I remembered something the wonderful meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein said, “Don’t waste your suffering. Use it as a mindfulness bell to look inside. You can work with the suffering in your mind.”
I started to practice with these feelings by sitting daily during our morning online meditation. It’s so supportive to sit with others! I softened my eyes, relaxed my shoulders and took deep breaths to start. Then I let my breath find its own rhythm. I didn’t force my body to breathe a certain way. I noticed many thoughts, let them go and returned to my breath. Again. Again. And again.
With my breathing came awareness. Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Breathing in, know that you are breathing in. Breathing out, know that you are breathing out.” And awareness of what you are doing is love.
Ha means breath or life in Hawaiian. We mostly take breath for granted until we can’t breathe. Then it is the most precious thing in the world. I was aware and grateful that my suffering gave me energy to practice.
Walking meditation is becoming very important to me as well. I practiced 10 minutes of slow and faster walking meditation in the zendo after meditation. I felt my feet on the floor. One foot after the other. I checked in with my breath and noticed how my body felt moving through space. As thoughts arose, I noticed them, let them go and brought my attention back to my feet walking. I let go of thinking and multi-tasking. When you walk, you walk. When you wash the rice, you wash the rice.
Sitting, walking, breathing, letting go again and again. This calming, nurturing practice of self-care for mind and body reminds me that love is always here.
Aloha and Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart)
Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue
P.S. Here's a recent recording of a talk I gave, "10 Ox-herding Pictures" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdJkCtoKm6A