This is Heart Work, Not Hard Work

“This is heart work, not hard work”

— Terry Tempest Williams

Aloha Dear Friends,

A little over a year ago we came together as a community to help Lahaina recover from its devastating fires.  We produced a Hula Concert and raised $16,000! We sent 100% of it to the Hawaii Community Foundation for the Maui Strong Fund!  It was a magnificent effort and we mahalo all of you who helped!!!

That was heart work, not hard work.

And that's what hula and meditation are for me - heart work. It’s how I open my heart after it’s been closed, again and again.  When I’m overwhelmed or fearful or sad, my heart feels closed. Dancing and zazen helps me heal and opens my heart again and again.

This practice of being embodied, dancing, and becoming intimate with Hawaiian poetry, that is sung or chanted, is a wondrous spiritual practice.  Lately I’ve been combining it with mindfulness meditation when I present at high schools or colleges.  Stressed-out students have been responding very positively.   

Hula is healing heart work.  Listening to Hawaiian music inspires us at a heart level and naturally causes endorphins to flow.  When we move and dance, we can integrate trauma and grief.  What we do matters, and as we heal, others heal. 

We have grown into a vibrant community of dedicated hula practitioners since I began teaching in 2004.  Dancing always cultivates aloha.  This aloha gets obscured from time to time because of busyness and distractions.  Hula reminds us that we are always aloha/love whether we see it or not.  

Our Halau celebrated its 15th anniversary this October.  Eight students attained the level of ‘Olapa/Dancer after years of practice. Patience and perseverance were keys for them. Three of our dear sisters who loved hula, passed on to the next world: JoEllyn Anne Romano, Taunya Aiono Bartlett and Rose Patterson.  They taught us the preciousness of each moment: to appreciate our lives and love each other while we can.

We hope you'll send the Halau aloha with a birthday gift of $15 or more. This will make tuition possible for those who are short on funds but love hula.  Enjoy our Year in Photos https://youtu.be/uhExzkzy7S4

Wishing you and your 'Ohana a safe and joyous Holiday Season and a Hauoli Makahiki Hou/Happy New Year!!!

June Kaililani Tanoue, Kumu Hula

P.S. November Talks & Interviews & Slideshows:

• Form(ing) in Sunyatta: Talk by Rev. Syd Yang https://youtu.be/bP5D9gb1VK8

• The Hula Sutra, article in Lion's Roar, November https://www.lionsroar.com/the-hula-sutra/

• ZLMC Year in Photos: https://youtu.be/1fJ4OPhuAH0

• Paths of Practice - June Tanoue interview with Vincent Moore https://youtu.be/sirH0qFMI8k

The Obstacle is the Path

“The obstacle is the path”

— Roshi Robert Joshin Althouse

Autumn colors of gold and yellow, flecked with red. A brightly shining sun. Schiller Park South exuded a gentle warmth of beauty as my husband and I were walking the dirt path. As we walked, we came upon a number of logs and branches across the path.

“The obstacle is the path,” Joshin said matter-of-factly as we stepped over branches, sometimes using our hands to clamber over a few of the larger logs. He didn’t stop and say, “Oh, I wish this path was clearer” or “Why doesn’t someone cut this log away and clear the path?” We simply did what we needed to do - walk over them.

Can we do this with difficulties or obstacles that arise in our lives? Perhaps a troubling thought keeps turning around and around in our mind. Or we encounter a situation that we don’t quite know how to handle. In my life, there have been moments in the last few months where I felt quite overwhelmed.

My meditation practice of mindfulness has saved me time and time again. When my mind is spinning about, my practice helps me to pause, breathe, notice what’s real, let go, and continue. Regularity of practice builds resilience.

Ilya Prigogine, the Belgian Nobel Laureate in Chemistry said, “We grow in direct proportion to the amount of chaos we can sustain and dissipate.” The overwhelm encountered in the past few months provided me with an opportunity to practice and grow.

He also said, “When a complex system is far from equilibrium, small islands of coherence in a sea of chaos have the capacity to shift the entire system to a higher order.”  It’s so important to keep ourselves well and healthy in body, mind and spirit. We are strengthened in that effort by being part of a halau or sangha of practitioners, practicing together and being islands of coherence.

Obstacles can be our best teachers if we have the courage to be open and breathe with meet them.

Happy Native American Heritage Month!

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. October Talks & Interviews:

• The Hula Sutra, article in Lion's Roar, November https://www.lionsroar.com/the-hula-sutra/

• The Hula Sutra - talk by Kumu June https://youtu.be/D8izzLTKCCQ?si=pE0aIZc0yB_Daiid

• Paths of Practice - June Tanoue interview with Vincent Moore https://youtu.be/sirH0qFMI8k

• Mental Illness & Zen - talk by Julie Kase https://youtu.be/2jduwAkSF0s

The Time to Catch Anything is in the Early Morning

2024 KA PAPA 'UNIKI KUKUI

Row 1, L to R: Sarah Evans, Betsy Puig, Lorel Madden, Lori Murphy

Row 2: Ellen Keikilani Sarvida, Junko Chow, Kumi Rannin, Ruben Aloano Hanohano

September 14, 2024, Oak Park, IL

“O ke ‘ehu kakahiaka no ka wa loa’a.
The time to catch anything is in the early morning.
When you want to do something, don’t wait.  Get at it as early as possible.”

— Mary Kawena Pukui, Olelo No’eau #2427 Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

It has been 20 years since we set down roots in Oak Park, Illinois in a wonderful century old Victorian house.  A good job brought my husband and I to Chicago.  I had a dream that I also wanted to teach hula.  He had a dream that he wanted to start a Zen Center.

We loved up the house, painted it, and then started dancing and meditating.  My husband was creative with the backyard and built a raised Hula mound and a Japanese sand garden.  (Delacy Sarantos was my first student in May 2004.  She celebrates her 90th birthday this year, and she’s still dancing!) Five years later in 2009, I was teaching in NYC and Chicago and thought, “It’s time to start a halau.”  Students filled the house and we celebrated with a memorable hula performance in the backyard. 

Fifteen years have flown by. Each day passes more quickly than the previous one.  We have a strong core of regular students that range in age from 7 to 90!  And we’re busy preparing for our 15th Anniversary Concert this Saturday!

In mid-September, eight students completed an ‘uniki.  An ‘uniki is a graduation and attainment of the first level of Hula called an ‘olapa’ or dancer.  While most of these students have been dancing with me for at least ten years, they danced very intensely for five months before the graduation.

I actually love this kind of intensive practice.  It’s a very disciplined way of living your life with intention.  With discipline comes freedom.  There is no freedom when one is constantly distracted.  

Hula and La’au Lapa’au are beautiful indigenous Hawaiian cultural practices that are like jewels in my life along with Zen.  These jewels teach us to pause and listen to Nature, to what’s going on within us, to what’s going on around us.  Listening deeply is healing and revealing.

Life can change on a dime!  An old friend was a victim of a terrible accident recently. And life has changed completely for her and her family. Hopefully she will recover.  Is it possible to sacrifice some of the distractions in our American culture so we can do what we really want to do with our brief precious lives?

Finally, practice ho’omanawanui which is patience with all that arises. And remember that without the situations that arise that we find challenging, we could not practice patience which is the path to peace.

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Wonderful September Talks:

• Karleen Manchanda's "The Whole World in Our Hands: Self Care as Compassion for All" https://youtu.be/sxK2xYiSSd0

• Kumu Hula Alva Kamalani and Haunani Kalama "Zen of Hula & La'au Lapa'au" - https://youtu.be/wJ3eGnxVwiY

• Kumu/Roshi June: "Three Pure Precepts" https://youtu.be/690Nl7GJGwY

• Kumu/Roshi June: "Opening to Oneness" https://youtu.be/_FDmrJDv6NQ

A Leaping Pao'o Fish

“He pao’o lekei
A leaping pao’o fish.
Said of one who is never idle.”

— Mary Kawena Pukui, Olelo No’eau #886 Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

When one seriously commits to an art or a cultural practice like hula, there is never an idle moment. There is so much to learn and do! While this appears to any practice, it particularly applies to hula. It includes training the body with regular practice to learn the dance and training the mind through translation and research of the chant. that is the foundation of the dance. True understanding and insight arise from taking time to contemplate (not just ruminate) and meditate.    

I shall always remember my la’au lapa’au teacher, Henry Allen Auwae’s five expectations for us training to be la’au lapa’au (healing with plants and spirituality) practitioners. They hold true for any discipline: Ho’olohe (being listening), Ho’omakaukau (being prepared), Ho’omaika’I (respecting all), Ho’olauna i Ka Mea Maika’I (being willing to sacrifice), and Ho’omanawanui (being patient). 

Our Hula chants have a wealth of information. There is one that talks about the hidden waters of the pao’o fish. There are 14 different varieties of pao’o in Hawaii. These fish are recognized by having a kind of eyelash and are famous for jumping.  They can even travel from tidepool to tidepool. (Pelika Bertelmann).    

According to Dr. Kenji Pila Kikuchi, “In the old days, fresh water would drip off the rocks very slowly and run out to the ocean. People did not know that this was fresh water. The fish would climb up into the cracks and hide themselves and when men visited the area, the fish scampered off, jumping back into the ocean.  

The strange behavior of these little fish was noticed and when the men went to investigate, they found fresh water. So they cleaned out the crevices in the rock and built a little punawai to catch the water for drinking. With water so precious and sparse, all punawai were kept clean and cared for. The reason for the name hidden waters of the Pao’o is because the little fish kept these waters for themselves and hid in the pools.” 

Things can get overwhelming for us when we are always moving. Know how to pause, breathe deeply, and put one foot in front of the other with patience. Sacrifice ways of being like procrastination that you know only holds you back. Respect all including challenges for they will help you to grow. Be prepared with generous attention. Listen to your whole body mind and know how to take care good of yourself. Then leap, like the pao’o fish.

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

What is to Give Light is to Endure Burning

“What is to give light must endure burning.”

— Viktor Frankl (1905-1997) Austrian neurologist, psychologist, philosopher, and Dachau survivor

I’ve heard August called the dog days of summer.  This could mean that it’s so hot, all you want to do is lie around like a dog.  It could also mean that you’re up against something hard, a challenge, something scary that you’d rather not deal with at the moment, if at all and that you’re lying around like a couch potato.

When this happens there are two major options for you.  There are more of course but they fall into these two big categories.  

Option one is to distract yourself and put off dealing with the challenge.  And that’s one thing that all electronics (phones, tablets, computers, televisions and more) are good for – distracting us from life as it is!!!  Distraction is different than a break or some relaxation. Just be aware when you are using the device as a distraction to avoid something you know you should be attending to.

The other option is to notice the discomfort you’re feeling.  Pause whatever you’re doing and notice the story you’re telling yourself. There’s always a story.  Let go of the story, breathe and if you can, notice how your body is breathing.  You don’t have to change how you breathe – just notice.  

And it may be hard to get to your breath if the upsetting experience is fresh.

Sometimes, letting go of the story seems impossible. You want to think more and more about the story - what happened and/or what all the reasons are - to protect and justify yourself.  The story goes round and round in your head fueling feelings of injustice, hurt and anger which can grow and become its own distraction.

Can you bear witness to those feelings and thoughts and just let them burn up and leave no trace?  We know through neuroscience research that feelings change – many can change in 90 seconds!   Thoughts are only solid when we give them energy by ruminating which only adds fuel to the fire.

Bearing witness is like putting up a shield of golden protective energy around yourself and your thoughts.  You’re watching the fire from a safe distance and not getting burnt.  This takes practice.  

Returning to your body is grounding in the present moment.  Notice how it feels to be standing or sitting.  Feel the weight of your body through your buttocks on a chair or through your feet on the earth.  

Anything tense or tight?  You can direct your exhale first to the tense area and then inhale from there as if the tension was breathing.  Stay there for a few minutes and then move to the next tense area.  Or just keep feeling your body and breathe.

Essentially what you are doing is a meditative practice of being with the body.  Your thoughts will return again and again to your mind’s story.  Bear witness to that, honor that, and then let go.  Bring your mind gently back to the body and the breath every time.  

Practice ho’omanawanui: patience and perseverance. The fire begins to lose its fuel, it no longer burns, and your focus returns.

Light will shine. 

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. ABC7 Chicago - AAPI Heritage Month Special https://abc7chicago.com/videoClip/hula-dance-hawaiian-halau-i-ka-pono-oak-park-illinois/14940072/

We Practice Zen to Purify Our Love

“We practice Zen to purify our love.”

— Shunryu Suzuki Roshi

Magenta, and striped red and yellow petunias are growing profusely in my window box quivering and dancing in the wind. It’s cool today, overcast with rain drizzling and refreshing them.  All the trees are in their beautiful green summery attire.  Dark green moss grows on the north-face of the elm tree outside.  

We are in the thick of summer!  The sun shines, days are long and warm!  We even have big summer storms with dark clouds that fill the skies, lightning flashes, and the thunder beings talk.  It’s like they are having a big meeting in the sky discussing things of importance.  I listen to them roaring and growling with a kind of awe.  Refreshing rain falls, cools the earth, and nourishes the plants.  

We Halau i Ka Pono celebrated Summer and danced the hula of our precious Hawaii at the Zen Life & Meditation Center’s Summer Solstice Party and Fundraiser.  We honored Pele, our Volcano Goddess, who emerges from the center of the earth as hot lava to create our beloved ‘aina/land.  And we remembered the islands of Maui, Molokai, Ni’ihau, Oahu and Kauai through songs and hula. 

In Zen we sit in zazen (meditation).  It’s a practice of patience and compassion to sit still with all the different thoughts that arise. Our practice in zazen is to notice, not judge, and release them by returning to breath, over and over again.  

In Hula, we dance.  It is a practice of patience as we repeat hand and feet movements until our body mind has memorized it.  So many hulas are about love and aloha.  And with the repetition, the message of the song is internalized. 

I can say the same thing Suzuki Roshi says about Zen.  That we practice Hula to purify our love.  When we focus on the hula, we let extraneous thoughts go.  And keep returning to the body.  This is a discipline just like zazen.  We let rest all those unhelpful thoughts like ‘I’m not good enough’ and we do not let them get internalized.

Our bodies like to move.  And when our body hears the melodious music of Hawaii and moves with it, something magical happens.  People tell me that they always feel better after they dance. And they return to their busy lives in a more open-hearted, aloha-filled way.

Can you just be in the moment and enjoy the dance of life no matter what?  Zen and Hula are practices that can help you do this. I think of all the people who danced or meditated before us and will dance and meditate after us.  I am deeply grateful to be part of these exquisite lineages of love.

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Here's a recent dharma talk I gave, "The Black Dragon Jewel is Everywhere - part 2 https://youtu.be/-fndSrC5J1I

P.P.S. ABC7 Chicago - AAPI Heritage Month Special https://abc7chicago.com/videoClip/hula-dance-hawaiian-halau-i-ka-pono-oak-park-illinois/14940072/

And it's Not Easy to Leave Again

“Lookin’ out upon the city lights
And the stars above the ocean
Got my ticket for the midnight plane
And it’s not easy to leave again”

— Keola Beamer, “Honolulu City Lights"

I was just washing dishes yesterday and listening with my airpods to the song Honolulu City Lights by Keola Beamer.  I haven’t figured out how to shuffle songs so the song kept playing again and again.  The song was on a loop, and  the second time as the words sank deeper, tears sprung to my eyes as my heart opened and an exquisite feeling of longing and deep missing arose.  

I  just returned from 6 days in Honolulu earlier this week. It was a whirlwind trip! I visited with my kumu hula Michael Pili Pang at his home and halau on Punahou Street.  It’s always enlightening to visit with kumu and it brought back memories of dancing with his halau in Waimea on Hawaii Island thirty plus years ago.   

My kumu always makes me think.  I remember that was his mantra – you have to think on your feet.  You have to be aware.  Hula is cultural practice.  Are you practicing and living it or not?  Are you teaching it or not?  Are you honoring and protecting it?  He reminded me of the discipline and responsibility of being a hula practitioner. It’s not just a dance.  It is a way of living with the ‘aina, the plants, the ocean, the sky, yourself, and others. 

I stayed with my sister in her airy home in Niu Valley.  It’s one level with jalousie windows on one side and a screened sliding glass door on the other.  A gigantic monkeypod tree takes up almost a third of her small backyard.  Green hedges surround the property.  A couple of mallard ducks visited in the early mornings while a beautiful white rump shama serenaded. A cool breeze blew through the valley (and the house) towards the ocean most everyday.  

Niu means coconut and the valley must have had lots to be named for it.  I don’t remember seeing many coconut trees left. I saw front lawns with familiar plants: fragrant red plumeria tree with thick strands of Spanish moss hanging from its low branches; white spider lilies that we used to wear in our hair when we danced; and a small potted sweet smelling puakenikeni tree in one yard that had a small homemade sign saying Leis for Sale.  That made me smile. 

It's been seven years since I last visited Oahu.  I lived there a couple of years in the mid-70’s attending graduate school in Public Health Nutrition at Manoa.  Then, it seemed busy and crowded for me coming from rural Hawaii Island.  But I loved it.   

After living in Chicago for 20 years, I found Honolulu to be a manageable sized city this time.   And I still love it.

“You should come more regularly,” my sister said to me and I thought yes, I should.   Being with my blood ‘ohana, being on the ‘aina/land, swimming in that clear sparkling Pacific Ocean. I need that. There’s something intangible yet so real that nourishes me there.  And here, hula continues to nourish me!

What nourishes you?  Are you willing to care and love it?  For if you do, it will care and love you.  

Aloha ‘oe Honolulu!  Until we meet again.

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.s. Here's a recent dharma talk I gave, "The Black Dragon Jewel is Everywhere - part 2 https://youtu.be/-fndSrC5J1I

May Day is Lei Day in Hawaii

“May Day is Lei Day in Hawaii
May Day is Lei Day in Hawaii.  
Garlands of flowers everywhere.  
All of the colors of the rainbow…”

So begins the song we always sang at Paauilo Elementary School when we celebrated May Day is Lei Day every May 1st.  We’d wear our aloha shirts and mu’u and wear leis made out of flowers from our yard.  Sometimes we’d make a lei for our teacher.

It was an exciting day because each of the classes had prepared a hula for the festivities.  There was also a regal Hawaiian court with a King and Queen chosen from the 9th grade class and Princesses adorned with the appropriate colors and flower of each island.

I came across a beautiful mele (song) called Na Lei o Hawaii / The Wreaths of Hawaii – written by Reverend Samuel Kapu of Maui in 1900 that reminded me of those days.   The melody was the song that our royal court processed to across the lawn to their chairs from which they watched the program. And this kind of pageantry began soon after Reverend Kapu wrote the song.

This mele was dedicated to the Goddess Hi’iakaikapoliopele, the baby sister of Pele, our Fire Goddess. Hi'iaka made an epic journey that took her across Na Kai Ewalu / the eight seas/channels of Hawaii.  Hi’iaka is our inspiration in Hula.  We dance many hula in her honor.

To get a sense of the richness of the Hawaiian culture, look at the English lyrics of Na Lei O Hawaii.  It describes each island with an identifying flower, color, chief, or a famed seascape or landscape.  Here are the Hawaiian lyrics: https://www.huapala.org/NA/Na_Lei_Hawaii_King.html

Na Lei o Hawaii

Beautiful Hawaii, island of Keawe

Proud of its lei of lehua (red)

And the maile of Panaewa

Grand is Maui with Haleakala

The sacred rose (pink)

Is for you alone

Oahu wears the ‘ilima lei with pride and grace (yellow)

As beautiful as the manu ‘o’o

The yellow birds of the mountains

Kaua’i’s lei is the Mokihana (purple)

Laua’e of Makana

The admiration of my heart

Famous is Moloka’i preserved by the kukui (green)

Of Lanikaula

And the waterfall of Moa’ula

Ni’ihau, Kaho’olawe and Lana’i (white, gray, orange)

Cherish their leis of pupu shells

The hinahina and kauna’oa

Tell the refrain of

The leis of Hawai’i

The leis that honor Hawai’i

Happy May Day and Asian Pacific Islander Desi* Month!

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart),

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

* Asian Pacific Islander Desi (APIDA) is a pan-ethnic classification that intentionally includes South Asians (Desi) as part of the community.

Your Loving Doesn't Know Its Majesty Until It Knows Its Helplessness

“Your loving doesn’t know its majesty until it knows its helplessness.”

— Rumi

This year the spring equinox, a time of new growth, fell in the middle of our 7-day silent meditation retreat. Sitting for 4 – 6 hours per day focusing on breath, noticing thoughts and letting them go again and again, and coming back to breath.   This is my practice and I love when it’s intensive because it helps me to open to what is.  Not to what I would like it to be, but what is.  

On this day instead of a silent meal with retreatants, I went to lunch with Donna and Rose.  I don’t usually take off during our retreat – but this was a special lunch. Donna and I used to go to the Cook County Detention Center to teach meditation to women and men.  Rose, my reiki master, had made a beautiful vegetarian meal for Donna, who had unexpectedly lost her 26-year-old son about a month ago.  It was very sudden and she was still deep into mourning. Death has much to say to us about impermanence.

When Donna picked me up at 12:15 pm her face looked like she had been crying, the grief had slightly rearranged her face from the one I remembered: usually smiling and dedicated to serving others, I could see the sadness on her face. I asked her how she was and put my hand on her shoulder.  “This is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to go through,” she said. “I just finished cleaning out his apartment, put things in storage, and let go of things no longer needed.”  

We got to Rose’s home and walked into her sunny living room.  There up on the wall, we saw a huge colorful triptych of many Madonnas which had been painted by Rose's mother Alberta.  We examined all the Madonnas in different life situations – each about the size of a small photograph. One little painting was of Rose as a Madonna and her husband. There were a couple of black Madonnas. “She is considered the model of Christian meditation and is my inspiration,“ Rose shared.

It felt good to be sitting in a room with many images of the Virgin Mary.  Rose had made a beautiful luncheon of chickpea rotini picata, a fresh salad, GF biscuits and a paleo friendly dessert with fresh berries.   It felt good to be with these women and all the Madonnas round us.

As we started eating, Rose asked Donna how she was doing.  And though it seemed difficult for Donna, she appreciated talking about what happened. Rose kept asking her questions and we bore witness to Donna’s pain all while slowly eating delicious chickpea rotini picata.   

At the end of lunch, Donna warmly thanked us for allowing her to talk about her experience. It wasn’t a common experience she encountered since Jonathan’s death. “I think most people don’t know what to do with grief and death,” I said. “We have to go through grief.  That’s how we integrate and learn what death has to teach us.“ 

I returned to the silence of the retreat. I sat with knowing that our lives are not permanent.  There is sorrow and there is joy. How then do I choose to live this precious life?  I sit. I notice thoughts and let them go. I come back to my breath. In this moment, I am one with what is.  All of it.

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Here are my recent talks:

• The Black Dragon Jewel is Everywhere https://youtu.be/XQJq7PwZUUg

• No Recipe https://youtu.be/Z3uk8e-6GjQ

• The Perfection of Giving https://youtu.be/qkXwOjktuCQ

Have the Heart of a Chief

“E opu ali’i
Have the heart of a chief.
Have the kindness, generosity and even temper of a chief.”

— #369 Olelo No’eau by Mary Kawena Pukui  Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

It was a lovely late February day. I had just led a hula presentation at the Lake Villa District Library, which is new, quiet, and spacious. Large windows faced open fields, and a lake. In this beautiful setting there were 50-60, mostly elders, present to experience a taste of Hula.   Four of them particularly enjoyed it because they had been long time residents of Kailua-Kona and Kohala on Hawaii Island. 

Afterwards, we walked to the car to return to Oak Park on a sunny day which could have been miserably cold – and instead it was 73 degrees! I relished the warmth even though there were whispers of ‘global warming’ in my mind.

We were in a good mood having just danced hula for a warm audience and we were enjoying the incredible day.  We had the windows rolled halfway down as we drove when we were stopped by a red light. We waited as the second car in the lane to go straight. Another car was to the right of us slightly ahead, in the lane from which you could either turn right or go straight. We were both waiting for the light to change.

Suddenly, we heard the man in the car next to us yell "F___ you!" and continued on with more cursing.  It startled Gwen, who was driving, and me!  We thought he must be on the phone, upset with someone.  I tried to look and see if that was so and realized he wasn’t on the phone.  He was swearing at the car in front of him who was not making a right turn so he could turn.

Given that the lane that car was in was not a right turn only lane, we were both startled to see such anger erupt so quickly.   All kinds of thoughts filled our heads. “What’s wrong with him!?” “I hope he doesn’t have children he’s going home to!”  “He must be so unhappy to have anger erupt so quickly!”  

I realized that we were witnessing road rage, and our thoughts were a normal reaction to an unpleasant situation.   It didn’t feel particularly helpful to keep thinking about him that way.   I remembered the practice of Metta or Loving Kindness.  I thought, what could be helpful in this situation would be to start sending metta to this man.  It was like uttering a simple prayer. 

May you be happy.  May you be healthy.  May you be safe.  May you live with ease.  

I repeated these sentences a couple of times aloud thinking of this man and noticed that I immediately felt more relaxed. I was sending him loving kindness and, in the process, loving kindness immediately filled me up.  I don’t know if it affected him.  I knew it certainly couldn’t hurt.  And those simple sentences had a profound effect on me.  

Malama pono,

Aloha and Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

Love is a Spring that Flows Freely

“He punawai kahe wale ke aloha. 
Love is a spring that flows freely. 
Love is without bounds and exists for all.”

— #936 Olelo No’eau by Mary Kawena Pukui  Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

In Hawaii we call love ‘the spirit of Aloha’.  

I grew up in Hawaii, a place of great beauty, with a warm, loving family. As my life has unfolded, I've deepened my experience of this freely flowing spring, this love that exists for all, including me.  It's a vast and boundless interconnection that infuses the entire Cosmos. 

It’s the warm feeling that lives in our hearts.  It moves and grows when we do something that we enjoy. It’s the energy that flows when we are with those we care deeply about. It’s the rising of compassion when we are with those who may be in need that compels us to action. It is boundless and central to the spiritual path. It is what gives us courage to persevere and be patient so we can work through our suffering, integrate it, and be skillful for the sake of others and the great earth.  

Sometimes, we don’t feel aloha at all.  We may be down in the dumps, angry about something or someone or anxious about something.  Even in these times, when life seems dark and we’re not happy, love is still here for us. 

I was scheduled to give a talk this past Sunday at our Zen Center.  I felt anxious and I was caught in a swirl of thoughts of wanting to look good.  I wasn’t sleeping well, I felt overwhelmed, and I procrastinated.     "Can I really do this?...  Am I smart enough?... I'm going to really suck!...” were on a loop in my mind.   Is that a manifestation of aloha?   

Then, I remembered something the wonderful meditation teacher, Joseph Goldstein said, “Don’t waste your suffering.  Use it as a mindfulness bell to look inside.  You can work with the suffering in your mind.”    

I started to practice with these feelings by sitting daily during our morning online meditation.  It’s so supportive to sit with others!  I softened my eyes, relaxed my shoulders and took deep breaths to start.   Then I let my breath find its own rhythm. I didn’t force my body to breathe a certain way.  I noticed many thoughts, let them go and returned to my breath.   Again. Again. And again.   

With my breathing came awareness.  Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Breathing in, know that you are breathing in.  Breathing out, know that you are breathing out.”  And awareness of what you are doing is love.   

Ha means breath or life in Hawaiian. We mostly take breath for granted until we can’t breathe. Then it is the most precious thing in the world.  I was aware and grateful that my suffering gave me energy to practice.  

Walking meditation is becoming very important to me as well. I practiced 10 minutes of slow and faster walking meditation in the zendo after meditation.  I felt my feet on the floor. One foot after the other. I checked in with my breath and noticed how my body felt moving through space. As thoughts arose, I noticed them, let them go and brought my attention back to my feet walking.  I let go of thinking and multi-tasking. When you walk, you walk. When you wash the rice, you wash the rice. 

Sitting, walking, breathing, letting go again and again.  This calming, nurturing practice of self-care for mind and body reminds me that love is always here. 

Aloha and Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Here's a recent recording of a talk I gave, "10 Ox-herding Pictures" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdJkCtoKm6A

It's a Delicious Mystery

20 days ago, I said hello to the Pacific Ocean at Tourmaline Beach in La Jolla. It was so wonderful to see that magnificent ocean and all the young surfers in their wetsuits and boards in such cold water! They must have great circulation! 

Today, we’re in Julian, California at 4,800’ elevation in the mountains northeast of San Diego where it is quiet and close to nature. Lake Cuyamaca (Lake Behind the Clouds), sits at the foot of the Greater and Lesser Stonewall Peaks which are covered with dark green pines and oaks and huge light tan rocks peeking out here and there. 

Sunrises and sunsets are extraordinary. Shades of purple, orange, and pink fill the entire sky and its surroundings for a few glorious minutes and then they are gone. The sunrise on the morning of the recent full moon was especially magical. 

We are at cloud level and last week during an intense storm, thrilling large clouds drifted in from west to east over the lake. The storm brought gentle rain here, although it caused flooding in parts of southern California. The clouds reminded me of when we lived in Waimea, which is at the 3,000’ elevation, floating in front of Mauna Kea. 

The air here in the uplands is clean, cool, and smells so very fresh. Perhaps because it’s filtered by all the oak and pine trees plus fewer people live here, so there are fewer cars, and less pollution in the air. Taking deep inhales and exhales when out walking is a pleasure. It’s the fragrance of health. 

As I write this afternoon, I hear a bird pecking on a rafter – it must be an acorn woodpecker that I always want to call acorn squashes – something I am more familiar with in Oak Park. Ha! 

There’s an old oak tree in the yard of our Airbnb where acorn woodpeckers, especially, like to frequent. It must be their home. Ravens visit the tree, as do band-tailed pigeons, a red-bellied sapsucker, a flicker, chickadees, and nuthatches. A red-tailed hawk once perched in a taller neighboring pine. The sounds of birds twittering and cawing are music to my ears. 

There is a flock of handsome wild turkeys that come by to drink from a bird bath set in the backyard. Black turkey vultures soar quivering in the skies on the wind. Resident egrets and geese live in the forest on a small peninsula that juts out into the middle of the lake. I can hear them honking in the distance.   

There are gorgeous blue stellar and scrub jays that come to visit on the lanai when we toss out popcorn. This morning, after sweeping the deck, I found a single long brown pine needle. There are no pines in the immediate vicinity. Maybe the stellar jay came to give us a present in thanks for the popcorn? It’s a delicious mystery. 

I'm also grateful for the deer and an occasional squirrel that come by, and for this gorgeous planet we live on. I want to thank all of you who read my newsletter and have helped our Halau and Zen Center flourish this year!

May your New Year be one of inspiration and loving appreciation of your life as it is - in all of its richness and messiness. If you can do that, peace, joy and love will be yours.     

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Here's a recent recording of a talk I gave, "Working with Difficult Emotions" https://youtu.be/IL7I9Gie4OI

The Olive Leaf of Love

“Ka lau ‘oliwa a ke aloha 
The olive leaf of love. 
A gift, kindly given. ”

— ‘Olelo No’eau by Mary Kawena Pukui #1434, Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

“The talent is on loan to you,” my kumu said one evening during our hula class. What a wonderful way to speak about impermanence I thought. His halau was located in the uplands of Waimea. At 3,000’ elevation, Waimea was cool and misty surrounded by pasturelands gently sloping up to Mauna Kea. 

I was in my late 30’s and 40’s then, still able to bend my knees and go low, my balance was good, and I could memorize chants and kahea easily. Being able to execute them now that I’m in my 70’s is different. My emphasis is on teaching and not dancing.

Hula remains my love, my cultural practice that keeps me grounded to aloha 'aina (love of the land) with roots embedded on Hawaii Island. It has been with me everywhere I go. It will be 21 years this February that I have been living and teaching hula in Chicago/Oak Park, IL.  

My first student was Delacy Sarantos, now a spry 90-year old. DeLacy still comes to two classes a week on zoom! She was inspired to practice hula after visiting Hilo and the Merrie Monarch Festival. 

The 15th anniversary of our Halau i Ka Pono/School that Cultivates the Goodness is coming up. One of our most important events happened this past October. We came together to raise money for Lahaina. Halau members worked tirelessly to organize food, sell tickets, do PR, and get donations for the silent auction and raffle.  

Our performance at Good Shepherd Lutheran Church in Oak Park was sold out (200) and we raised $16,000!!! We gave 100% of it to the Hawaii Community Foundation for their Maui Strong Fund. I’m so proud of how everyone worked so well together to make this happen! 

I know there are many good causes to give to. If you have any extra, I hope that you will remember Halau I Ka Pono with a year-end gift. Your contribution provides scholarships for hula students and helps keep the lights on in our Zen Center/Halau.   All contributions are tax-deductible. 

We thank you for all of the support each of you have given to us this year! We wish you and your families health and good cheer this Holiday Season!!! 

Malama pono (take good care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Tanoue 

P.S. Here's a recent recording of a talk I gave, " What does it mean to lead a human life?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VysHTHK-uTc

In the Shade of the Breadfruit Trees of Lele

“Lahaina, i ka malu ‘ulu o Lele.
Lahaina, in the shade of the breadfruit trees of Lele.
The old name for Lahaina was Lele.”

— ‘Olelo No’eau by Mary Kawena Pukui #1936, Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings 

In August, we witnessed to our horror and disbelief, the utter destruction of Lahaina! We also witnessed the immediate and remarkable support of many people coming to Lahaina’s assistance!

Our recent Benefit Lahaina – Celebrate Aloha Concert raised $15,300 to support recovery efforts!!! And more donations are continuing to come in! 100% will be going to the Hawaii Community Foundation’s Maui Strong Fund. 

One question haunts me. How did the fires happen in Lahaina and cause so much pain and destruction? 

Prior to western contact, Lahaina’s name was Lele or Malu ‘Ulu o Lele (In the Shade of the Breadfruit Trees of Lele). It was lush with ulu, kalo, bananas, yams, coconut and many more edible plants. Kaipo Kekona shared that there was an investment of human capital in planting and maintaining the grove. The infrastructure of 'auwai systems worked symbiotically with nature to maximize abundance for both people and the natural environment. Increasing rainfall, aquifer recharge, near shore water discharge, attracted an abundance of fish to the healthy estuaries of flourishing ahupua'a to feed everyone. 

Malu ‘Ulu o Lele was the sacred heartbeat of Maui and original capital of the Hawaiian Kingdom after Kamehameha I unified the Hawaiian Islands.   

Hokuao Pellegrino said that an 1887 news article specifically talked about Pioneer Sugar Company pushing cut sugarcane up against the 'Ulu trees, and burning them down. The article describes the outcry from Hawaiian families and the broader community begging them to stop because the ‘ulu trees were not just a symbol of Lahaina, but they helped to sustain that population.  

By the late 1800’s nothing was left of Malu ‘Ulu o Lele. The grove of ‘ulu that provided an abundance of food free to the people was replaced by sugarcane to turn a profit for the plantations. Plantations diverted the water that fed the area. The climate and environment that was known as Lahaina had completely changed and the stage was set for the devastating fires that consumed the city in August.   

My friend Jenn Louie says, “We have a necessary and precious opportunity to reflect upon and unlearn our western colonial ways of being. These colonial ways have fractured and broken our relationships with each other and with the 'Aina. These ways of being have warped and limited how we see our humanity and value: 

• that the 'aina is something to be extracted from for profit, 

• that our time is something to be commodified for profit, 

• that our worth is measured by how much profit we can create for someone else. 

It limits our ways of seeing value through what we produce, what we can commodify vs simply who we are. What would it mean if we could unlearn and teach the next generation that they deserve love just because they simply exist.  

It is time to heal and recover. I pray that we are able to be skillful and compassionate in our actions going forward, that we support the short and long term health and balanced sustainability of the people and ‘aina of Lahaina. And that we firmly secure Aloha as the foundation of our being. 

MAHALO NUI LOA to ALL the many people who contributed their time, money and gifts for this past Sunday – it was a gift to see all of you come together as ONE for Lahaina!!!   

Malama pono (take care of body, mind, heart) 

Kumu/Roshi June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue 

P.S. If you haven’t contributed yet for Lahaina, it’s not too late! 

Be a Person Who Knows Love

“Kama ‘ia ke aloha a pa’a I loko 
Bind love that it may remain fast within 
Be a person who knows love. ”

— ‘Olelo No’eau by Mary Kawena Pukui #1452, Hawaiian Proverbs & Poetical Sayings

Maui has been on my mind. Wild hurricane winds combined with Lahaina’s bone dry ‘aina was primed for a spark maybe from a downed electric pole that caused a horrifying conflagration. The death toll continues to rise (115 at this writing) and the number of missing continues to fluctuate. Many of the dead were burned alive as they could not get away from the fire in time. The New York Times had a riveting interview with a survivor who had to jump into the ocean to escape the fast-moving fire.  

As I experienced Hurricane Iniki, I saw the aloha spirit spring alive in full force after the news.  So many people from all over contributing money and goods to help the people who survived! I hope also that the funds contributed will also help them rebuild their lives and Lahaina will be like a phoenix rising from the ashes.   

We will dedicate our October 1st (hybrid) Celebrate Aloha Concert as a Benefit for Lahaina with 100% of the proceeds going to the Hawaii Community Foundation’s Maui Strong Fund.   

We just completed a 3-day silent meditation – our Healing Harvest Retreat. These silent retreats are medicine for my body mind. In Buddhism, body mind refers to a wholeness: not just head and not just body but both as one. In my regular life the duality of body and mind becomes more reinforced as I spend more time in my head and less time with my body. When I forget my body, I’m forgetting a kind of grounded wholeness, and my ego stress just keeps piling on. 

During sesshin, we practice doing one thing at a time: sitting, working(samu), eating, resting, stretching. It’s being mindful and quite relaxing actually. For example, in samu when we wash the rice, we just wash the rice. When we sweep, we just sweep. When thoughts arise, we let them go, and return to what we’re doing in the moment.   

Meditation helps me to know what is real and to be real. It can be a challenge to be real, especially if you disagree with someone. So many past and present conditions can affect the way you articulate your thoughts and feelings (or not). Recently we had a wonderful Sunday Morning Zen speaker, Jitsujo Gauthier who shared these three questions that were important for her:  

• How to train the body-mind to appropriately respond to hardness, violence, and difference?  

• How to stay fresh moment to moment? 

• How to continue seeing self as other and other as self? 

These questions are important to someone who wants to cultivate aloha/love.  

My meditation practice helps me live the answers to these questions (not always perfectly) moment by moment. Remembering that we are innately loving beings and practicing that love, aloha, or compassion for others as well as ourselves is a key. 

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Dharma Talks at our Sunday Morning Zen: Rev. Jitsujo Gauthier's "What is Home?" https://youtu.be/r3CpC12sGdA and Roshi June Tanoue's "Ziyong's Earth" https://youtu.be/yoF1gni0k10

To Respect All

“Ho’omaika’i - To Respect All”

— Henry Allen Auwae

Respect is a basic human need. Like water, air, and food, humans cannot thrive without respect. Respect is also a key component of Aloha. To respect all means respect yourself, respect others, respect the plants, the earth, and the ancestors. I think it also means respect difficult situations that arise for you.   

When I was on vacation in the little town of Mayville, WI, I went to a coffee shop the last Sunday we were there. The place was crowded and noisy. I put my order in for a couple of breakfast sandwiches and saw there were five other tabs before mine. 

I waited about 40 – 45 minutes growing impatient and irate. The café had thinned out by then and there were just a few people left. I talked with the young woman making coffee. “What happened to my order? I’ve been waiting for at least 45 minutes.” I said, my mood sullen.   

The young woman was very apologetic, she checked the orders and said it must have gotten lost. I’ve checked and we’re making your sandwiches right now.” She also gave me a little card saying, “I’d like to offer you a free drink the next time you’re in.”   

“I won’t be in again,” I said rather curtly. “I don’t live here. So I’ll take the drink now.” 

“Oh yes,” she said again very apologetically. I ordered a matcha latte which she made quickly. The warm green almond milk helped me feel a bit better. The young man making the sandwiches came out with one, but it was not for me. 

At that point, I felt my need for respect was not being met and I stepped up to counter and told the young woman that I would like to cancel my order. She said yes and apologized again. I left calm on the exterior but seething on the interior.   

To respect all is a tall order. In that moment and for an hour or so later, did I respect that young man making breakfast sandwiches? No, I did not. During the week of vacation, I didn’t practice meditation at all. Perhaps if I had I would have been more equanimous. 

I practiced walking after that. Just walking, one foot in front of the other. I walked all over the park and the river. I let go of any thoughts that arose and just appreciated the blue sky, the park with Canadian geese sunning themselves, and the slow muddy green river. Hardly anyone was out that Sunday morning. I didn't negate my anger. And I didn't focus on it. After a time, I noticed it had lessened. 

There’s a wonderful hula that we learned from Kuana Torres Kahele called Kukaniloko which is about the birthing stones located on the island of Oahu. Kukaniloko means to anchor the cry within. For me, that means taking responsibility for your feelings that come up and not blaming others. It also means pausing, not doing or saying anything right away, especially continuing to feed the story. Thoughts will arise about the experience, notice them, suspend judgment, and let them go.  

In Zen we practice getting close to things that are uncomfortable. That’s where wisdom resides. The small ego-self that thinks it’s the center of the universe can rule your life. We always want to protect it by judging, blaming, and criticizing others but seeing things exactly as they are is the deepest wisdom. If any speck of judgment remains we can’t see clearly and we suffer. 

Respect difficult feelings and difficult people. It’s part of the process of wholeness.  

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Dharma Talks at our Sunday Morning Zen: Roshi Robert Joshin Althouse "Know Your Own Mind" https://youtu.be/cqmKJZYCzyQ and Roshi June Tanoue's "Contemplations on the Platform Sutra" https://youtu.be/nYD4apqATXI

No Success Without Preparation

“‘A’ohe ‘ulu e loa’a i ka pokole o ka lou.
No breadfruit can be reached when the picking stick is too short.
There is no success without preparation.”

— Mary Kawena Pukui, 'Olelo No'eau #213 Hawaiian Proverbs & Poëtical Sayings

Ho'omakaukau - To Be Prepared.

To be prepared is an expectation I have for my serious hula students. For Hula, it can mean practicing your hula so you come to class prepared to show your mastery of the dance: knowing the steps and hand motions, translating Hawaiian into English, and understanding the meaning behind the movements. Then, telling the story with feeling is possible.   

It takes repetition, again and again, for your body to learn the motions. Like riding a bicycle, once your body learns it, it embeds in muscle memory and one can dance more from the heart than the head.     

In life, there are many ways to prepare.  For example, how do you work with fear in troubled times? Fear is pervasive in our American culture. Last weekend in Chicago, 75 people were shot, 14 fatally, in weekend gun violence. Working with fear is important. Fear can sharpen our senses, or it can distort reality. I have been studying my fears for a long time. One way that I notice fear arises for me is when someone criticizes me.  It especially hits me if I have a poor self-image and I’m unconsciously depending upon someone else’s approval to prop up my self-image.  

Zenju Earthlyn Manuel has written a profound book called Opening to Darkness. For me, it’s a guide to working with fear, shame, and grief. Fear can arise of the dark, the unknown, and conflict. Zenju said in a wonderful talk at our Sunday Morning Zen recently, that you can look at fear as the mud that a lotus grows out of. We focus on being the lotus in the light and we’re happy when the mud is low and dry. When it gets high and thick, we just want to get out of it.   

Can we see that the mud – the messiness of our life - is offering us rich lessons? Is it possible to hang out in the mud, stop wishing you were somewhere else, and just be? She says this isn’t a request to stay with what feels bad.  It’s an invitation to see into darkness and transform negative feelings about our dark experiences and see the true nature of darkness – its harshness and its sweetness. 

Ho’omakaukau. I think one can prepare for uncomfortable times with a regular practice of meditation – in whatever form you choose - to help stabilize and ground you. The practice of zazen can help you notice when you’re ruminating and let go of those thoughts, desires, and judgments. Zazen simultaneously opens you to not knowing and boundlessness. In Zen, we say we sit because we are already enlightened, not to get enlightened. True wisdom lives within each of us as it is a part of the whole universe.   

The practice of letting go of thoughts may give us a glimpse of how we filter everything through the desires of our ego (me, mine, myself). The small sticky self, based on fear, only wants to protect itself. It’s a deeply engrained habit. Physical and mental safety are important. And is it also possible to see when our thoughts get in the way of the reality that all life is an interdependent whole and there is no separate self? 

Breathe, smile, be kind to yourself and others. That’s Ho’omakaukau, a good practice of preparation.       

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Here is Osho Zenju Earthlyn Manuel's wonderful teisho on Opening to Darkness https://youtu.be/a6RDB-l1o-w.

Hearing What Can't Be Heard

“One hour of compassionate deep listening
can bring about transformation and healing.”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

La’au lapa’au is Hawaiian healing with spirituality and medicinal plants.  La’au Lapa’au practitioners were the doctors in old Hawaii.   Papa Henry Auwae, a master la’au lapa’au practitioner and teacher who lived on Hawaii Island, always said that healing is 80% spiritual and 20% the plants.   

La’au lapa’au has five expectations. In English they are: to listen, to be prepared, to respect all, to sacrifice, and to be patient.  There is no order, the intention is to practice them all and I find if you really practice one, you are practicing the others.

For me a spiritual life is very much the life of a good person with a good heart.  They are pono which means right with themselves and their god. Pono also means loving yourself as well as loving and serving others.  And that is practice! The five expectations help one to be pono and balanced.  

Deep healing is heart opening and arises from this practice although it may be subtle. How can you tell when your heart opens? 

For me, hula is very spiritual, and I ask my serious hula students to practice these five expectations in their lives.  Ho’olohe – to listen was the first of five expectations that Papa Henry had of his la’au lapa’au students. 

We practice Ho’olohe when we practice meditation.  To listen deeply internally or externally, we quiet down.  Talking ceases.  We pause, maybe for a long time.  That’s meditation for me - stopping activity and sitting quietly – essentially doing nothing.  

When I meditate, I open to listening. I notice my busy mind full of thoughts one after the other.  Some are very loud.  Then I practice letting go.  I notice if I’m ruminating.  Then I let go and in zazen – I come back to breath.  This is a process that I keep doing repeatedly on the cushion or chair.  I still my body, I listen, and let go.    

This helps my brain, my mental health.  I calm down.  When my body is still, my mind can also be still and vice versa because mind and body are one.   

If I sit long enough, a deep focus and stillness can arise.  In Zen we call that samadhi.  And then 'ike - insight - can arise.  One can hear what can't be heard. How am I treating myself? How am I treating others?   

Ho’olohe.  I love listening to birds when I’m sitting early in the morning or anytime of day.  And yet, a lot of the time, I don’t even hear them singing as I’m so distracted by my thoughts...and so, I return to the practice of ho’olohe - being present to what is. Listening, again and again.   

Meditating regularly. Hearing what can’t be heard.     

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Here are my recent talks given during our March silent meditation retreat: Ziyong's Earth https://youtu.be/jL60xtQO9sY and Instructions to the Cook https://youtu.be/rOWzi8kDHwE

The Darkness of Ignorance is Inseparable From Nirvana

“The darkness of ignorance is inseparable from Nirvana.”

— Dogen

My husband has had a new hip for a little over two weeks. The surgery was a huge trauma to his body and it’s very slowly healing. There’s still pain but he’s managing with meds and careful walking with a walker.    

Surgery day was intense. I thought that I was pretty calm but mentally that wasn’t the case. That evening, I put Caesar salad dressing onto my lentil stew for dinner and stood waiting in an elevator that didn’t move because I didn’t press the destination floor. I can’t imagine how much more scrambled I’d be without my meditation practice.   

Caregivers are unsung heroes. One can’t help but see the deep connection between beloved patient and caregiver. While the patient aches over the affected area, the caregiver aches in ways that can’t always be so easily seen. For me that took the form of frozen or sore muscles from tension and fatigue.  

And I noticed, with fatigue, that I was less patient and a bit grouchy when teaching my regular classes. I tried hard to keep up with my everyday tasks with a normal demeanor, but what's normal in situations like that? 

Our Zen community was remarkable during this time. Sangha members brought us delicious meals that nourished us. I didn’t have to think about cooking which was good because it was a busy time for me as well. I taught four master Hula classes on different days at Wheeling High School to some 120 students (freshmen through seniors) on top of my regular teaching schedule.   

Located in the northern suburbs of Chicago, Wheeling is 60% Latinos. The high school atmosphere there was calm and peaceful. While it was worrisome to watch someone in pain at home, it was a joy to bring authentic hula to students who wanted to learn. Mostly teen girls, their youthful bodies swayed to beautiful Hawaiian music, and they learned quickly to be the sun, the moon, the mountain and the ocean.     

It was interesting to see the me that was worried, mentally scrambled, and grouchy and the me that was in her element teaching hula. Both one and the same.  

Happy May Day is Lei Day Everyone!

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Here are my recent talks given during our March silent meditation retreat: Ziyong's Earth https://youtu.be/jL60xtQO9sY and Instructions to the Cook https://youtu.be/rOWzi8kDHwE

Clear Answers Are Difficult To Come By

“As a Sansei, I longed for specific answers to my questions about how the internment affected my mother and father.  What I found is that clear answers are difficult to come by… I went to Heart Mountain to tear down some walls.  Now I gently embrace them.”

— Sharon Yamato

I flew to my oldest female cousin’s funeral in Los Angeles this past week.  Kayko Kawabe Ishii was 82 years old when she died.  

Kayko’s parents were my second set of parents when I went to college at the University of Redlands.  They were my home away from home and I’d spend holidays and vacations with them.  Their ho’okipa/hospitality was always welcoming and generous.  I remember Kayko as a teenager.  She wore black turtleneck and tights, slept late, and always had a smile on her face.  Since I didn’t make it to Aunty and Uncle’s funeral, I thought, I must go to Kayko’s. 

The funeral was held at Fukui Mortuary – one of two Japanese owned mortuaries in the heart of Los Angeles near Little Tokyo.  The weather was clear, cool, and sunny for the funeral.  It was good to see family: cousins, their partners and children at the funeral on Tuesday.  

I also got to spend time with two of my brothers - Carl and Paul - who flew in from Hawaii Island.  It’s always fun when they’re around.  Most people were dressed in aloha attire per Kayko’s request – so the gathering was a Hawaiian style celebration of her life.  I'm sure she loved it!

On Wednesday my brothers, cousin BJ, and I went to Little Tokyo to visit the Japanese American National Museum. They have an amazing exhibit of the Japanese American World War II incarceration.  We saw a special display called Ireichō.  

It has become a sacred book of names – the first comprehensive listing of over 125,000 persons of Japanese ancestry who were incarcerated in US Army, Department of Justice, Wartime Civil Control Administration, and War Relocation Authority camps.  Appointments to see names are made at least a month ahead so I wasn’t able to see the names of my relatives in the book.  But just knowing they were there and recognized was comforting.   

Embedded into the very materiality of the Ireichō are special ceramic pieces made from soil collected from seventy-five former incarceration sites in almost every region of the United States.  Tiny jars holding the soil are attached to wooden plaques with the name of the camp.  I especially noted the camps at Kilauea, Honouliuli and Sand Island in Hawaii.  My maternal grandfather, Joichi Tahara, was prisoner at all three.  He was innocent and died 9 months into his incarceration. 

Heart Mountain, Wyoming was where fifteen of my paternal relatives were imprisoned.  One of the fifteen, Kayko was sent there when she was 4 years old.  She remembers the great Wyoming sky and mountain and wondered why there were men on the other side of the fence with guns pointed at her.  

It’s hard to know what kind of impact that had on her.  But joy and celebration were key in her life.  She became a cheerleader in high school, and social worker in L.A. County.  She married the love of her life, raised three children, and then went on to get her master’s and PhD in psychology treating trauma in the Japanese American community.  

There was no military necessity for this mass incarceration.  It was because of racism and greed.  I dream of the day when we can all gently put down our weapons and walls – whether they be guns or personal armor – and open to our own and each other’s unique differences and sameness.  We are all humans in different stages of waking up to our lives.    Can we practice letting go of outdated thoughts and opinions to be with what is? Gentleness arises from this and helps us embrace all that is.

Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),

June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue

Kumu Hula, Roshi

P.S. Here are my recent talks given during our silent meditation retreat: Ziyong's Earth https://youtu.be/jL60xtQO9sY and Instructions to the Cook https://youtu.be/rOWzi8kDHwE

P.P.S. Click here for April newsletter which features inteview with Warren Furutani and his new book ac-ti-vist https://conta.cc/3ZMEMYv