“He pāpa’i niho mole.
A crab minus a claw.
Said of a person missing a tooth.”
My dentist helped me discover that I had a dead upper molar recently. The tooth had given me some pain three weeks ago and my gums above it were swollen. I watched it for three weeks hoping the swelling and pain would go away. The pain diminished with ibuprofen but the swelling didn’t; I knew I had to deal with it. I hated losing it, but extraction was the best option.
I am lucky to have good teeth and not too much dental trauma in my life, so I approached the dentist's office without a lot of dread. Just another day.
Lying in the dental chair and witnessing the numbing of my mouth, drilling, and the strength my dentist had to use to pull the tooth (that seemed to want to stay in my mouth) was interesting. The opposite side of my mouth was jacked open with a little block and after a short time, it started to ache and hurt more than the extraction. They removed it when I motioned to that side. Dr. Perna, my dentist for 20 years, is very attentive and skilled, so it went well.
Afterwards I felt like someone had punched me in the mouth. Tylenol and ibuprofen helped with the pain. The left side of my lips was numb, and I couldn’t smile fully for 5 days because of healing discomfort. I thought about the reasons why my tooth died. Maybe stress and grinding. But I didn’t berate myself. I just bore witness to the pain and rested.
My parents comforted me in a dream the night of the extraction. Ma was with me as we prepared to go shopping with my dad. I forgot to put a footie on one foot, so I had to spend a little more time taking off the sandal and putting on the footie to match the other foot. The thought “oh, this is taking too long," crossed my mind but I let it go.
My mother was there just like I remember she was when I was a child – mostly patiently waiting for me without a hint of being rushed. She was present and silent without any judgment that I hadn’t put on my sandals and footie right. I felt an unspoken energy of comfort and care, something I didn’t know I needed in the dream but very much needed in my life sans tooth. I awoke with that feeling of ease in spite of some jaw pain.
Take good care of yourselves during this time of uncertainty and chaos. Being with what is, taking the steps that you can, finding the good in the midst of it, and maintaining your connections with others matter, even your ancestors. Get good exercise, rest, and eat well. Nourish yourself and then see how you can help others.
Malama pono (take care of body, mind and heart),
June Kaililani Tanoue
Kumu Hula, Roshi
P.S. Here is last month's Indra's Net Open Mic Recording of Readings & Songs https://youtu.be/yH2uNBTD89w
Also watch these recent talks:
Melanie Jessen's talk, "Bodhisattva Skill Set" https://youtu.be/oGQY1kfWusY
Jacqui Weiner O'Shea's " The Art of Imperfect Parenting: Burnout" https://youtu.be/Lr-BzQ5H7io