“The darkness of ignorance is inseparable from Nirvana.”
My husband has had a new hip for a little over two weeks. The surgery was a huge trauma to his body and it’s very slowly healing. There’s still pain but he’s managing with meds and careful walking with a walker.
Surgery day was intense. I thought that I was pretty calm but mentally that wasn’t the case. That evening, I put Caesar salad dressing onto my lentil stew for dinner and stood waiting in an elevator that didn’t move because I didn’t press the destination floor. I can’t imagine how much more scrambled I’d be without my meditation practice.
Caregivers are unsung heroes. One can’t help but see the deep connection between beloved patient and caregiver. While the patient aches over the affected area, the caregiver aches in ways that can’t always be so easily seen. For me that took the form of frozen or sore muscles from tension and fatigue.
And I noticed, with fatigue, that I was less patient and a bit grouchy when teaching my regular classes. I tried hard to keep up with my everyday tasks with a normal demeanor, but what's normal in situations like that?
Our Zen community was remarkable during this time. Sangha members brought us delicious meals that nourished us. I didn’t have to think about cooking which was good because it was a busy time for me as well. I taught four master Hula classes on different days at Wheeling High School to some 120 students (freshmen through seniors) on top of my regular teaching schedule.
Located in the northern suburbs of Chicago, Wheeling is 60% Latinos. The high school atmosphere there was calm and peaceful. While it was worrisome to watch someone in pain at home, it was a joy to bring authentic hula to students who wanted to learn. Mostly teen girls, their youthful bodies swayed to beautiful Hawaiian music, and they learned quickly to be the sun, the moon, the mountain and the ocean.
It was interesting to see the me that was worried, mentally scrambled, and grouchy and the me that was in her element teaching hula. Both one and the same.
Happy May Day is Lei Day Everyone!
Malama pono (Take good care of body, mind and heart),
June Kaililani Ryushin Tanoue
Kumu Hula, Roshi
P.S. Here are my recent talks given during our March silent meditation retreat: Ziyong's Earth https://youtu.be/jL60xtQO9sY and Instructions to the Cook https://youtu.be/rOWzi8kDHwE